Putting God Is a Mortician up on Amazon made me realize that my desire to meet extraterrestrials is out in the open and they could come calling any day. I have this view that they’re really nice and can do all sorts of wonderful things that will help us out here on Earth, but who knows? That might be totally unrealistic. They may be like Atilla the Hun and his boys, just out for a jaunt through the Milky Way to see how many planets they can pillage, how many populations they can place into servitude. We might run into an alien version of Alexander the Great, and that would not be a pleasant experience. Having said that, in God Is a Mortician, the extraterrestrials are pretty nice, though the ones with fifteen eyes were too cool for school and flooded the previous universe with an unbearable amount of joy. Don’t worry, the one we’re in now after the big bang is back into equilibrium with a healthy dose of sadness for all you pessimists out there who think the aliens might not be nice. Me, I’m an optimist and I’m waiting on a call from an extraterrestrial who will give me the best sexual experience of my life, out of this world so to speak. In the meantime, I’ve got to finish a short story I’m working on.
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